18th
Me and Jared Leto
So this happened about 4 years ago, right around the the height of the shitty christian metalcore scene. Some of my high school friends decided to start a very shitty little metalcore band. Since no one else could drive, I was paid to haul equipment and just act like a dick to everyone else. They were my friends so, hey, they where used to me being a prick. So after a few concerts and being banned from playing a church due to being satanic, we found ourselves bored and broke. Of course me being of my usual sunny disposition decided to take a few days off from listening to them play gawd awful music. I left the strictest instructions not to do anything gay or lame, and drove off blasting rap music. I returned to home base a few days later after they called me talking of an emergency.
Apparently those faggots had been talking with Victory Records and handing out their shitacular demo.
Now even then, still some what a naive 19 year old guy, I was wary of having my name anything near that shit hole of a recording company. Yet still, these were my friends. Good guys who would show up to my house with alcohol and cloves. So I turned a blind eye to my morals, and said what the hell. A few days later we where handed free tickets to see a new band that no one had ever heard of.
If I knew what I know now, I would have spit on those tickets and let myself enter a drunken haze of bad phone calls and indignant threats. So we arrive at the local venue, and we hear that this band called Aiden is playing. After a few songs we manage to work ourselves back stage and meet with these mall goths.
I could talk about how lame they where, but thats a fucking given. wiL is horribly gay, and etc etc. The only guy who seemed somewhat on the level was the fat ass bass player. But even then we just sorta brushed it aside. Also IRCC some of the members of Hawthonre Heights where backstage as well, but I believe I avoided them like the plague they are. We talked with those fags and they offered to let some people talk about having us open for 30 seconds to Mars, I of course, not listening to shitty music, had no clue who this band was. Well thanks to the magic of Wikipedia i found out about Jared Leto. At first I was like hey, I liked requiem. And fight club didn’t suck too badly. But then again he also did My So Called Life. Which makes him gay. Horribly Horribly Gay.
A few weeks pass, a few more gigs are done and we eventually get the call that says we will be opening for this at the big local venue. They are over the moon, and I merely shrug and say sure whatever. They practice hard, I drink more, and we all some how remain happy.
The day finally comes to the big show, and bam we are off to Norfolk. We manage to get there on time only to be rushed in hauling gear to the stage. After being hassled over my ass getting back stage we finally managed to get all of our equipment and gear in place. We played the set, and for the most part they had a bunch a scene kids rocking out. I was a bit happy, because I do find scene girls to be hot, and the idea of using I’m With The Bad to get some underage scene ass seemed like a good idea.
We all seem to move backstage and begin moving sound shit once again. Suddenly I hear this huge yelling and I see Jared Leto himself yelling at our poor mexican drummer. The pasty goth lead singer of the band I was with decided to be the knight in shining armor and joined the fray. Words were tossed around, and the argument was about some stolen guitar case or something. All I knew was that I hadn’t stolen shit, and all of my friends were to slow to have any chance of stealing as well.
Jared Leto being all super star starts getting in everyone’s face. I told the mother fucker to call down and I’ll sort this shit out. I don’t know exactly what happened first, but our drummer threw a horrible punch and completely missed that bitches face. I have never been so ashamed. He missed hitting Jared Leto by yards. That mexican still needs to learn to fight still.
Well as you can imagine security was called in, and we where unceremoniously told to get the fuck out.
Victory Records never called us back.
Thank god.
-ChrisIs…
